is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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