Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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