omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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