Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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