Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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