note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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