I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
