wat bout pragnant strippers??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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