Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just pee around me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
