Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
