even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
