And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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