Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
