before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
