so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
