it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
