i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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