We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
