i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
