I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
