I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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