its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
