bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
