I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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