Umm I'm too high to move.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
PANTIES FOUND
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