You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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