I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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