this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
