Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
