Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
