bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
