Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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