how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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