i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
