I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
