Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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