I love black thongs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
