I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
