I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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