i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
two words...techno handjob
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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