me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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