I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
