I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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