have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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