just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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