So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize