there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize