Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
