he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
