vagina is talking i cant
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
