Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
