CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
