p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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