he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
