I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
