It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
