spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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