Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
