I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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