I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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