Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
