I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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