I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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