we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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